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mood |
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shocked |
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music |
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Thank you by the Calling |
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I won't rant for today.
I returned here to look at the past, for I decided to dig up some memories that I left. I wanted to look back at myself.
...boy, was I in a total shock.
If I had to compare my blogging style now and before, I could say...well I don't write as much as I did before...and I now I can use the enter key. (laughs) I knew I was very moody and dark in my past, but I had no idea I was so....silly. I seemed to have got mad at the tiniest things and cursed to no end. I was so "so-called" angry goth about things, and if I could talk to myself during those days, I might have killed myself. It seems silly now that I look back at it.
People had told me before I graduated I was hard to approach, since I seemed very quiet and a bit scary, but by that time I was more friendly. It's like I transformed into a different person. Well, there are some things that have not changed I believe. I just became more mature really, and I'm glad to have.
I read myself as from a brooding teenager to slowly disappearing from this place. I took some tests and some results came out slightly different from how I was before. It's quite amusing.
As I watched some of my batchmates grow up into people I may not truly recognize, and after several years I may not be able to remember at all, and vice-versa. I thought I didn't change...that I was just the same as I was several years ago. For a long time I thought I was the constant variable in this ever changing world, minus where I am now, and my clothes.
Now I see, more of read, that I have changed.
....Hmm....one day, my uncle gave me a small notebook, and left me to do whatever I wanted to do with it. I used it as a means to keep track of my life. After one day reading it again, I realize that it was a good idea to keep in touch with myself....history wise. Through the technique of keeping my past preserved in words, I remember, and there's my secondary storage.
Not everything, but something...and that's all I need.
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